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Wax play, or temperature play, is another practice under the BDSM umbrella. Considered slightly advanced, temperature play is when heated wax is introduced to skin as a way to entice excitement and arousal. However sensual and erotic wax play may seem, it still requires practice, education, communication, and understanding. If done incorrectly, burning of the skin and extreme discomfort can harm the dominant or submissive—learning is key!
A study led by Dr. Pekka Santtila in the Archives of Sexual Behaviorfound that 35 percent of sadomasochist participants engaged in hot wax play. We spoke to Miss Kim Ruba London based professional dominatrix, who gave us some advice on how to properly handle wax in relation to the skin. The dom hosts workshopsas well as an annual fetish event called Club Rub.
Kinksters use wax play as a form of foreplay. Soy candles are hot wax play safest, although there are an assortment of retail candles that you can purchase. Ingredients are the key component in understanding what type of candle you should introduce to skin. Scented and paraffin candles burn between F and F. Beeswax candles are long lasting and industrial. They typically burn from F to F. Soy candles, which we mentioned first, have a medium burning temperature—between F and F—but most importantly, the wax cools quickly on contact.
Furthermore, it helps create a pain threshold and helps the dominant understand the sensations that their partner will possibly feel. Remember that the further away from the skin, the safer. Stand over your submissive and drip the wax from a high level, rather than at a low level with a few dribbles.
Also, never pour wax on an open wound or near any genitalia. First of all, remember to never play on your own. Then stop what you are doing. For the submissive, remaining equally calm and voicing any concerns or discomfort should be explained thoroughly. Health and safety are incredibly important for BDSM play.
There are quite a few different methods of application and each has its own sensation—drips that roll down the body for instance. For the submissive, a burst of brief pain will occur and subside as it cools down. For the sub, they will feel an obvious hot sensation, but wax play can also be subtle and low key.
Before beginning to drip, have the submissive lie down on a plastic sheet or damp cloth to avoid ruining bed sheets and creating a mess. Make sure that all areas are safe of flammable materials and that there is nothing around you, or your partner, that can catch alight. Massage the submissive with oil or lotion in order to create an easy removal, while also creating a sensual moment before any heat is introduced.
Light the candle and drip a small amount of wax on to your own hand or wrist. If you feel comfortable with the temperature, drip a small amount on to the selected area hot wax play your bottom and test their reaction. Communicate throughout the process and allow for your bottom to address any concerns or discomfort. Begin to decrease the distance from the candle to the body to allow for the wax to cool on contact. From here, you can begin to experiment with shapes, patterns, brushing, rubbing and layering. The removal of wax can be difficultespecially from hair.
Use a comb, or a plastic card, to remove areas of wax hot wax play skin. A way to avoid any sticky situations is to apply oil or lotion on to the skin to make removal easier. Nicole Lane on October 23, Nicole is a women's health journalist living in Chicago. In addition to writing she is an artist who works with assemblage and sculpture. She tweets at snicolelane.
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A Beginner’s Guide to Wax Play, So You Can (Safely) Turn Up the Heat